In Memory Of My Brother, Who Died In The San Bernardino Attack

I really hope you will read this. Sometimes we all speak off the cuff, and sometimes when we do we malign people carelessly, not because we mean to but because our beliefs differ. This is an outstanding remembrance of a man who was quite a lot different from me, and likely many of you. But he was at least as valuable as any of us, and now he’s lost to us all, and especially to those who loved him, in as senseless a way as is possible.

The top picture is of Daniel Kaufman. Nobody ever called him Larry. He was named after the Elton John song. And he was my brother. Adopted, that’s why his name is different; he was my cousin by birth. My parents adopted him when he was 10 and I was 7. He taught me how to tie my shoelaces. He taught me how to shave. The one at left was the last picture he texted me, on November 7. He’s giving the Vulcan salute because he was at a place in Van Nuys which was used as a filming location in Star Trek.

He was killed by Muslim terrorists in San Bernardino on December 2, along with 13 other people. He was 42. He was laid to rest earlier today.

Danny, as I always called him, was a deeply kind and gentle man. He had a soft spot all his life for sick plants or animals. He was always rescuing some injured cat or bird, or keeping a potato in a cup of water so it would grow. He brought home an injured duck once, and we let it live in our pool. Everything you’ve heard about what a cheerful and gregarious person he was is true. He also loved horror movies and Comic Con and Clive Barker novels and George Takei Facebook posts. He especially loved the Renaissance Faire. His life basically revolved around it and his boyfriend, Ryan.

You might only imagine my parents’ sorrow. I would recommend against trying to.

For myself, I’ve often thought since that day of a passage from Mark Twain, in which he tells how he reacted when he learned that his favorite daughter, Susy, had died. “It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live,” he writes.

There is but one reasonable explanation of it. The intellect is stunned by the shock, and but gropingly gathers the meaning of the words. The power to realize their full import is mercifully wanting. The mind has a dumb sense of vast loss—that is all. It will take mind and memory months, and possibly years, to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss. A man’s house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear through years of use and pleasant associations. By and by, as the days and weeks go on, first he misses this, then that, then the other thing. And, when he casts about for it, he finds that it was in that house. Always it is an essential—there was but one of its kind. It cannot be replaced. It was in that house. It is irrevocably lost. He did not realize that it was an essential when he had it; he only discovers it now when he finds himself balked, hampered, by its absence. It will be years before the tale of lost essentials is complete, and not till then can he truly know the magnitude of his disaster.

Our own disaster is worsened by the fact that this is such a big news story. We’ve chosen not to speak to the press, or attend any public memorial services. We hope this is not taken as a sign of disrespect. We loved Danny, and always will, and are exceedingly grateful to his many friends for their kindness. We are grateful, too, for the many police, sheriff, and fire officials of the city and county of San Bernardino, and the FBI, who’ve tried to help. Different people grieve in different ways.

There Are a Few Things I Would Like to Clarify.

First, although Danny was gay, he was not killed for that reason. The jihadists certainly didn’t stop to ask. Danny was an human being capable of thought and love. That was enough to make him dear to us—and to make him a target for jihad. There are rumors he was Jewish. He was not.

Source: In Memory Of My Brother, Who Died In The San Bernardino Attack

My condolences to his family, and I wish I had known him.


About NEO
Lineman, Electrician, Industrial Control technician, Staking Engineer, Inspector, Quality Assurance Manager, Chief Operations Officer

11 Responses to In Memory Of My Brother, Who Died In The San Bernardino Attack

  1. Indeed the death and murder of any human being and person, especially those that are gentle of nature is a diminution and lessening of us all in humanity! Each human person is a creation of God, but sadly many that are created have become themselves even more of a diminutive in themselves, who hate and kill! But the love and mercy of God is greater than evil, and it will forever separate eternally from evil itself! Lord have mercy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • NEO says:

      It’s stories like this that cause me to consider ISIS beyond the pale, simply vermin to be exterminated. Their choice, not mine.


      • Yes Amen! Perhaps we can better understand why God Himself told King David to kill and exterminate certain people and races, in the OT time? When people become non-redemptive! Jude 4-13, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

        • NEO says:

          Indeed, perhaps so. In any event people cannot be permitted to kill people for no reason, seems to me our countries have fought major wars about that.


        • But in the end, GOD Himself will separate “the Wheat from the chaff”!

          Liked by 1 person

        • NEO says:



        • And btw, only GOD In Christ gets to determine both the “Wheat and chaff”! But, surely creation and nature itself should tell us that “this” kind of “terror” and “terrorism” is un-human!


        • And in this creation we are always going to have “war and rumors (the noise) of war”! THIS is a Fallen (sinful) world! So-called modern and post-modern man hates to hear of this reality!


  2. the unit says:

    Ode to Hillary and Jeb…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dionne was/is a very pretty woman! And btw, for our atheist friends, Law comes from God! And the Moral Law will be the essence of God at the Judgment, of course ‘In Christ’.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. the unit says:

    I have been blind too long. So many still are. How long do we serve by stand and waiting? For a knock out game?

    Liked by 1 person

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