The Dead Cow Lecture

It’s my oldest friend’s birthday today, and my favorite lawyer, and children’s author as well. She’s also the only classmate I ever considered a real friend, and have since Kindergarten.

Happy Birthday, Shelli! 🎁🎆👍😀

First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, “In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal’s body.” For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.

“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked a them and said, “The second most important quality is observation. Note: I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life’s tough but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”

The Dead Cow Lecture.

That’s lesson number one from the Neo school of management: Pay attention to the professor. 🙂

About Neo
Lineman, Electrician, Industrial Control technician, Staking Engineer, Inspector, Quality Assurance Manager, Chief Operations Officer

11 Responses to The Dead Cow Lecture

  1. audremyers says:

    Geeeeezzzzzzzzzz louise! Did I ever need that. I failed college biology because it was too disgusting to cut up a dead frog!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nicholas says:

    That kind of teaching probably wouldn’t be allowed these days; o tempora o mores. (Incidentally, am I the only guy here who knows who Flanders and Swann were?).

    Liked by 1 person

    • NEO says:

      An indictment of the current method if I ever heard one! You may be, you sent me of to Duck, Duck, for some good stuff. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Nicholas says:

        They toured in the USA and Canada, where they were much loved. Their songs are little known now, except perhaps “Mud, mud, glorious mud”.
        They had a little skit on science humour as well.

        Liked by 2 people

        • NEO says:

          What I just saw on YouTube, I like, and would have. Somehow I just missed them. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        • Nicholas says:

          Well, we can’t know everything; there’s plenty of material in American culture I am not familiar with. I reckon you would also like Gerard Hoffnung and Viktor Borg.

          Liked by 1 person

        • NEO says:

          Likely so!

          Liked by 1 person

        • the unit says:

          Yep, so’s there’s those’s we never knew of. Like, i.e. Pastor Ingqvist. 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

        • the unit says:

          And a bunch, counting on my fingers and toes and each breath I inhale and expire, wish I hadn’t had the occasion to know of. No odor or taste on my finger though. Do have a blister on between my thumb and fore finger from rake handle. No getting fat in this emergency here.
          Doing my due though, not sitting back and watching with popcorn. 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

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