Here’s what bothers me – relax, no mention of ‘you know what’.

A note: First the picture has bo relation whatsoever with the article, except that Raquel is not annoyingly skinny! Neither was Marilyn. If this article goes sideways on Audre (and I agree with her) leave me out of it. I’m not that big a fool. I will comment here though, that it is just as true for guys if you want to look good dress for your body, not some guy that just graduated from SEAL school or is specializing in soy-based food. Now, be kind to each other, and more or less behave! Neo

One of the best things – or maybe the only good thing – to come out of ‘diversity’ and ‘inclusivity’ is a growing acceptance of ourselves – how we look, what we wear, the way we present ourselves. Sigh … well, it started out good anyway.

Large women, who have always had trouble with self-image, are starting to find their beauty; that beauty that is unique to them. Every woman, in her own way, is beautiful. Each is one of a kind – unique. That is something to be celebrated and it’s taken women a long time to get here. But then they succumbed to very strident ‘sisters’ who said large women could be just like thin women and pushed to make large women wear the same kind of clothes thin women wear.

It certainly can be done. Clothing manufacturers have been shaken awake to the idea that most women are not size 0 and that large women have the same amount of dollar power as their skinny sisters. Wow. What a concept. That, too, has been a long time coming. It’s more than simply scaling up on the patterns, there are other considerations involved when designing for the fuller bust or the wider, deeper rear-end. It’s a whole new science for those manufacturers and they seem to be making a real effort to incorporate fit for the fuller figure to the most popular design trends.

And then … it went awry. It always does. Right now, the fashion is to wear clothing as close to the body as you can. It’s called ‘body con’ – body consciousness. It applauds showing every inch of the female frame while still being completely covered. If you’re size 0 (as most runway models are) or the more average size 8 or 10, a woman can look like a knockout! Every curve outlined, every bust or bottom highlighted. Those women can wear sleeveless tops, crop tops (those are tops that don’t come down to the waist) and ‘skinny jeans’ so tight you can take their pulse through the jeans just by looking.

But large women – I mean those that range from 22 – 30 – have started to wear the tights, too. I’m sorry. It’s not a good look. I understand the importance of loving who we are and how God made us. But what skinny-Minnie wears is not what the large woman should wear. I’m sorry. Big women should not wear tight clothes. It accentuates the lovely bustline on a thin woman and absolutely screams OMG! when a large woman wears a tight top. No one – no one – wants to see the exact outline of those huge, heavy pendulous growths! The most ardent breast man in the world looks askance at them! Not a good look. And for those who are daring and like to go braless, well if there’s a chill in the air or the air conditioner, what’s referred to as ‘headlights’ on a thin woman are KLEIG lights on a large woman and people – not just men – people stare at them not because they’re sexy but because of the size of them!

Ok – I have never figured out the reasoning but men like to look at ladies’ behinds. I can’t imagine why but then I have xx chromosomes. If your a thin woman and you have a tight butt, tight jeans and slacks look great. If you’re a larger woman and your butt jiggles and sways and bounces, ‘skinny jeans’ are not the thing for you. They show every bump and indent under a canvas that is too hard to miss. Love your behind if you must but please, spare the rest of us having to look at that. I’m not being unkind or uncharitable – I care how people perceive the larger woman and I know the cruel and unkind things that people say when they see a large woman showing her butt.

I’ve had my size 24 days and I’ve had my size 8 days and have lived in the world of skinny and have lived in the world of fat. Large women can dress so that they look drop dead gorgeous but it takes a little discretion on the part of the woman. Flowing blouses and tops that just sort of shape to the bust and flow away from the hip are so becoming! You can wear tight jeans if you wear a tunic top that just skims the butt and look smashing!

The Big and Beautiful Sisterhood just need to be a little real when they shop. A large woman’s arms may look just fine when her arms are at her sides but ladies, please, you know you’re gonna lift them arms!!!

 

54 Responses to Here’s what bothers me – relax, no mention of ‘you know what’.

  1. Scoop says:

    I have nothing much to say on what women wear . . . only to acknowledge that fashion and design for women’s clothes has gone all to hell. Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that most of the men who do this actually hate women and for some reason many women flock to the latest trends.

    Now beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. For me, there has been no better looking woman on the face of the earth than Sophia Loren.

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.express.co.uk%2Flife-style%2Flife%2F857752%2FSophia-Loren-Hollywood-actress-Cary-Grant-Marlon-Brando&psig=AOvVaw149AC7a79crosRaiiE2uM6&ust=1585916816268000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCNis1vfeyegCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD

    I have always marveled that the sum is greater than the parts of this beauty. Her nose is too big, her mouth is too big and her almond eyes are a bit much. But together they are perfection. The same may be said of her hips and her bust. Though larger than normal, together they are beautiful. So I guess the ideal is proportion. There is something about the fibonacci ratio that attracts us in nature and if I were a betting man I would guess that some mathematician out there could find a way to apply that ratio to what is considered perfect beauty in a woman. The sum is often greater than the parts.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Amens and hosannas all around from me, Audre. I am incredibly ecumenical when it comes to what I find (physically) attractive in women; that is to say, I find almost EVERY woman attractive.

    Even I have limits, though. The “Healthy at Any Size” mantra went from making the point that obese people can be working to improve their health to arguing that the titular characters in an episode of My 600 Pound Life are perfectly healthy, even as they’re killing themselves with Stuffed Crust pizzas.

    I spent most of my life at a robust 285 pounds—still gommiously plump even on a 6’1″ frame (I lost down to around 172 in 2011, and am now sitting a festively plump 210-ish)—so I understand how difficult it can be for larger people (it’s tough for a man, but being fat forced me to have a personality and talents; it’s harder out there for curvier women). But now we’ve gone too far, as you point out, to where we’re celebrating unhealthy obesity as some kind of moral virtue. At best obesity is glandular in nature, and the sufferer deserves all-the-more sympathy; at worst, it’s a sign of true moral failure, that of excessive self-indulgence.

    Again, not trying to throw hardened lumps of fat at any glass gymnasiums here—I just ate reheated breakfast pizza while reading your post—but there is some healthy medium between saying, “You should be a size 0” (false!) and “you’re perfectly fine at 350 pounds, girl!”

    I like Oreo Cakesters (OCs)—my cheekily euphemistic term for women on the plumper side—and the ones that are the most winsome are those that dress well given their body shape and size. Your recommendation of flowing blouses and such really hits the mark. There are some “thicc” women (as the hip urban youths call them) who know how to accentuate those curves to great effect.

    One final thing: I do have to note, with dismay, how many OCs are out there now. My younger brother—happily married, with three children—was astonished when I told him that, on any given dating app (the reduced way in which we now have to find a mate), around maybe 3% of women are not noticeably or obviously obese (women are good at taking deceptive photographs to hide their bodies, which suggests there is a degree of self-awareness; a key giveaway is only close-up shots of a woman’s face). And not just the toothsome OCs I crave—we’re talking quadruple stuffed here.

    Again—again—I acknowledge I’m not spring chicken, and could stand to drop a score of LBs. But I also dress appropriately for a man with my doughy not-yet-a-dad bod, and still seem to do well enough charming the ladies with my cheeky boyishness (let’s just hope they never find this comment thread—ha!). But that doesn’t make what I’ve written, or what you’ve written, any less true.

    Let’s cut back on the Oreo Cakesters and breakfast pizzas (gulp!), and maybe we’d have some healthier Oreo Cakesters around.

    God Bless, Audre!

    Liked by 3 people

    • audremyers says:

      A wonderful comment, Politico. A friend in the UK asked if we have many obese people in the States. I was sorry I had to report to him that we do, indeed, have many obese people here.

      I’m 160 (pounds – not years!) and the doctor has advised me, in his words, my weight is PERFECT! When have you ever heard a doctor use that word??? But he also said to keep on eye on it as underweight has as many issues as overweight. Sometimes we just can’t win.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Glad you appreciated it, Audre. I kept qualifying myself because I know coming out and saying, “excessively obese women are unattractive” would get me pilloried, haha.

        Liked by 3 people

        • audremyers says:

          While you’re a wonderful writer, lol, but I could see your virtue signaling a mile away! I did the same thing as I admitted I had had heavy days in my life. I’ve been fat and I’ve been thin and the truth of the matter is, thin is better.

          Liked by 2 people

        • Lord, I abhor virtue-signalling; I prefer to think that I was trying to approach the discussion with all due delicacy and discretion (the “Oreo Cakesters” notwithstanding).

          Liked by 2 people

    • Scoop says:

      I guess we can’t leave out of this mix the repugnant men who want to wear their pants bellow their buttocks either. What started as a homosexual advertisement within the prison system, now the ordinary guys on the street seem to think that this is macho and somehow attractive to women. I doubt that, but I have never quite understood the mind of adolescent girls. My daughter (almost 40 now) is still a mystery to me.

      Liked by 4 people

  3. audremyers says:

    The Portly Politico – nice try, Ace. (lol!)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. the unit says:

    Got to be careful with big women. More surface area to be wiped down. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • audremyers says:

      Now, now, sir. We are being charitable here. Not scolding; just advising.

      Liked by 2 people

    • I was waiting for the unit to “weigh” in on this issue. Anyone whose user name is “the unit” surely has some insights into the inner workings of women.

      Liked by 3 people

      • audremyers says:

        Laughing out loud!

        Liked by 2 people

      • the unit says:

        Anyone 70 or over could’ve adopted the name. I did in Nov of 2011, after listening to a caller to Mark Levin program. Doctor call in guy was reporting on neurology conference he’d attended in D.C. Speakers were referring to patients that were 70 and above as “units”. Some speakers were suggesting the age when “death panels” might kick in. I even emailed the sponsoring neurological society about it, who emailed back it wasn’t for real, just “fake”.
        So what I’ve learned about women’s size and fashions and other stuff is “you get what you pays for”.
        Oh, and I took the name early, about 6 months before I became one. So I faked it. 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

      • the unit says:

        Being “legendary” means being around awhile. Lord blessed for something I yet to get done.
        Count them this afternoon. Without mask and gloves. 🙂
        Hope I can accomplish that sitting at home.
        P.S. The mere though of legendary, brings to mind that others are suffering more deeply than me and mine…
        obits in today’s listing locally…
        Legacy and Legend McClain, 6 days old. Twins I guess. Chosen names must tell a lot of what loved one’s been and going through.

        Liked by 2 people

        • audremyers says:

          Humbling and tear producing. “When the news gets real”. I’m so grateful I found Jesus. He stood where I couldn’t miss Him for the express purpose of my finding Him. It’s at His feet that I cry – and especially for babies.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. NEO says:

    Nicely said, all. I thought it would be with the great commenters here.

    Now, if I could just write articles as well as I find co-authors…I just noticed that Audre has, deservedly, more views this week than I do.

    Gotta lookout for those Anglican girls!

    Well done, Audre! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  6. the unit says:

    Do y’all think we’ll be remembering where we were when this virus hit and dawned upon us?

    Liked by 3 people

    • Absolutely. I was extremely skeptical that much would come of it until around Friday, 13 March 2020. That’s when it really started getting “real” for me.

      We’re through the looking glass here; the world today is very different than it was even two or three weeks ago.

      Liked by 3 people

      • the unit says:

        About same date here. Actually day after sis-in-law arrived from Hawaii to help tend to needs for wife, whose knee replacement was cancelled the next day, March 16.

        Liked by 3 people

        • My mom rescheduled her knee surgery as well, to May. That could very well get rescheduled again. Dear Lord, please bring us heavenly showers of hydroxichloroquine to end this terrible plague!

          Liked by 3 people

        • the unit says:

          I take it she did the rescheduling. CDC did it for us and hospital closed this elective procedure. I had checked in at the hospital desk the day before the cancellation to be sure it was the correct check-in entrance, for 4am) and was told there would be donuts and coffee for those waiting to hear from the surgeon.
          Wonder if donuts still there. 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

  7. Nicholas says:

    I don’t feel particularly qualified to comment as:

    While I enjoy the looks of a number of current trends, my fashion pages on Pinterest are decidedly antiquarian (Belle Epoque, Enlightenment, Byzantine, Greco-Roman).
    I know that while certain things look good, they are not comfortable to wear.
    While, I know the rules, I don’t play by them. I wear comfortable clothes I’ve had for years that don’t go together – why? because my preference is to spend my disposable income on other things than clothes.
    NEO and Scoop can both attest for my preferences in any event.

    Liked by 3 people

    • the unit says:

      I may go into the far reaches of my closet and cut off the cotton bell bottoms bottom trouser legs to make masks.
      Oh, and just checked… they popular again. Well, women’s ones at least. Even noted this comment on google ” A tangerine-colored sweater half-tucked into wider-leg bell-bottoms feels so right now.” Maybe “orange man” ain’t so bad after all. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      • audremyers says:

        Au contraire, mon amis. “Boot cut” jeans LOOK like bell bottoms but aren’t really the same thing (son – I had me a pair of purple plush spandex bell bottoms that made heads turn!). Yes; I have that look – half tucked in in the front and hangin’ out the back like you got interrupted while you were dressing.

        Liked by 3 people

        • audremyers says:

          I don’t know how to edit a comment here but I meant ‘hate’ where I typed ‘have that look’ . Should have been ‘hate that look’.

          Liked by 1 person

        • I love that “tucked-in-the-front, untucked-in-the-back” look on some women. If the top is cut right, it can really accentuate a girl’s curves and lengthen the leg.

          Yes, yes, I AM (allegedly) a straight man. I just have an eye for these things.

          A few years back there was a revival of high-waist “mom jean”-style shorts. The barista at my local coffee shop wore them well; she was the first girl I saw wearing them, then I began seeing them on younger women more frequently. That look, paired with those perfectly white tennis shoes, drives me up the wall.

          One of my songs, “Private Lessons” (which I have yet to record, sadly), has a line that goes, “You wore those high-waist shorts/they were the highway to desire.” The song is about the phenomenon of hot chicks who are terrible musicians continuing to sing at open mics because, being hot, everyone tells them they’re really good, even though they’re not.

          My other favorite line from that song (at the risk of appearing to brag about myself): “You need practice/Good thing I give lessons all night long.”

          It’s the only catty song I’ve ever written, I promised.

          But I digress: yes, if a woman wears the right clothes for her body type, she can just about always be at least somewhat attractive.

          Liked by 2 people

  8. audremyers says:

    The Portly Politico – “And Church all said Amen.”

    Liked by 2 people

  9. audremyers says:

    The Portly Politico – know what does it for me? This is so bizarre – men in a white button down shirt, sleeves rolled to about half way between wrist and elbow, and blue jeans. Knocks my socks off, lol!

    Liked by 1 person

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